....About an hour ago i get a message from W saying.. "I know you are probably not interested but thought I should keep you informed" then outlined her plans etc.
Should i respond? If so what should i say?
My thoughts are - she didn't have to send me any message, but it could be that she's doing just that - letting me know and I'm just wanting to read something into it that's not there.
Help, anybody out there with opinions on this? Jay....
...FYI and FWIW I didn't reply to either of her messages.
It would depend on what her plans are, but in general I think that the advice you are getting to detach is really good. Glad you didn't
I also think that you are doing a good job of spending time with your daughters. There are a lot of support groups for family of Gay & Lesbians (PFLAG is one) out there to try to help you and your daughters come to grips with you W "coming out." I also think that you might want to look some up on websites and read some of their suggested materials to give you a better view of how to deal with some of your emotions that you may not have addressed.
Then probably get some conseling/therapy for you & your daughters, but NEVER do anything to express anger or hatred for their mother in front of them (or you MIL for that matter). You can express surprise and sadness, but not anger at her. Cherish your relationship with your daughters, it is something that you W seems to be willing to kick under the bus, which is really strange.
Remember that your MIL is probably afraid of you separating her from her grand daughters. Be positive, loving, don't saying anything to MIL about getting back with you W, just indicate that you are taking time to change your life, focus our your D's and want to provide them with as much stability and support as you can and that means maintaining contact with their grandmother. If can pull that off she will probably be thrilled.
You might want to expand the physical aspects of your GAL activities as well and see about including your D's in them. Try to do some walks or jogging with your D's, if you can ...or bicycling. Good luck!
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
