Trying to stay patient- part 6

[dingo]

Tar - I stopped updating my own situation because yours seemed to be a virtual clone of mine - a lot of limbo, a lot of 'forced' compromises and an overarching lack of decision or commitment one way or the other. I have gotten advice through your posts and vet replies and I see you doing a lot of the same things I did. As I have said before, my situation is a little more progressed than yours is and I could almost predict her actions, as well as yours. I heard all the same responses and reacted in all the same ways.

I am really sorry that you received that letter this morning. I totally empathize with the feelings of anger and betrayal that you thought you had at bay and how they came rushing back.

The one thing I can tell you that I learned is this: When you are finally able to really let go, you will suddenly find yourself in such a calm place of peace where everything may not be right with the world and where everything may not be the way you envisioned it but where everything is OK. When you get to this spot, you will not want to go back to the chaos and turmoil that you've been living since BD.

I think its very difficult for those of us that internalize and honor our commitments to others to get to that place - I suppose this may be because those commitments have really become a part of who we are and what we believe in. However, when you do, it will be a very liberating experience.