Thank you for the advice 25yearsmlc. I really appreciate you keeping it real. I am looking inward and accepting my part in the demise of the M. Physical and mental issues contributed to the sex-less-ness of the M including fertility treatments, ovarian cysts and endometriosis. My pulling back caused him to be angry and resentful, which caused me to pull back even further. It was a vicious cycle and I wish I would have stopped it.

H has only had the affair that is related to this situation - we have never had a previous reconciliation.

How will H notice my changes if I go dark?

Me: 54
H: 58
Married: 29 years
Together 33 years
H admitted to A: 5/29/14
H moved out :6/15/14
OW lives 4 hours away and "occasionally" stays weekends with H
D23
D18