I can be the lighthouse but not the tugboat

[daring]

Yesterday morning after being upset still from various things I decided to take all of H's pictures and memorabilia down from the game room and office and put it together in a bin. I need to make this MY home, not OUR home- at least for now. It felt really good- I needed to do something like that.

He picked up kids from school so he got to the house before I did last night. He texted me saying " I take it this bin of chit by the door is stuff I should get rid of?"
I couldn't tell if he was upset or just being sarcastic and playing around- could be either depending on which H was present for the day. I texted back " no not to get rid of, those are all your pics and some of the duplicate pics of kids." He texted back thank you for putting it together.

So later in evening he brought D13 home from running errands for school supplies and told me when they had walked in earlier she asked him if mommy was " putting his crap on the curb". I sensed a little bother in his voice though he was laughing.
He then sat down next to me on the couch ( that's a rarity these days) and we chatted about kids schedules etc. He asked if I needed anything and then he headed out.

I have noticed that he comes nearer when I show some of my vulnerability and upset and when I ask him to help with certain things that are joint responsibilities. I'll have to continue to experiment there some more.
But I'm also taking care of myself and trying each day to accept that it looks like he's going to need to progress to D to be able to complete his tunnel exit.....
So weird!