Seems like she's staying home tonight. Hard to know if I should try to "be there for her" or act as I normally do when she's at home and barely acknowledge her.
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
I have no idea, thats why I asked? We talked about it briefly, she played it down (it's not cancer, etc) a lot and clearly didnt want me to be worried. she didnt seem affected at all. i mean, i think she has known something was wrong for a very long time. we hugged. then i put the kids to bed and she went and sat on the couch watching tv and texting. i went to bed early.
today she texted me asking if I had cash on me she could swing by work on grab to avoid overdraft fees in her bank account. i said i didnt have any cash (which was true, though i honestly did not know how to answer this), she responded with a never mind.
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
I am researching the syndrome and the types of dietary changes she needs to make to address it. I feel like I can offer assistance without "saying it" by helping out, maybe getting her some things she needs to be eating? I dunno, I'm at a loss here. I want to be right by her side with this but its the opposite of what ive been doing lately, detaching, GAL/PMA etc.
im officially confused.
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
I guess what I meant by the post at the top of this page was not "should i be there for her?" because obviously i should. it was more a rhetorical statement about how i CANT be there for her.
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
Well despite looking and feeling super wiped out she is heading out to study tonight. And there is a fresh box of wine on the back porch, which must have been what she overdrafted on. I am getting played like a fiddle.
Last edited by 1foot2; 10/16/1412:43 AM.
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
Without reading every post, does your wife openly admit to the A? It sounds like it's out in the open, or at least not actively hidden. I hope the thyroid treatment does help. I'm in a similar situation but with no medical reason to blame, except maybe her prozac. That leaves only me to blame. I plan to read through your sitch and see what else is similar. I'm sure it will give me some ideas to help deal with this stuff.
Good luck. God bless.
Me: 37, W: 36 S6, S3 M: 8 T:11 Discovered 1st A: 9/3/14 Began DB: 9/20/14 W "ended" 1st A repeatedly Discovered at least 3 more A's, filed 10/29/14
W again texts me just now asking if she can borrow $20 until payday tomorrow. Can't believe this. What do I do here? Ignore the text? Kindly respond no? Tell her to ask OM? This is so ridiculous.
Last edited by 1foot2; 10/16/1402:26 PM.
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
Thanks for the reply blind. The affair is an open secret basically. She leaves the house "to study" and goes to his house. I say nothing.
Luckily I had an IC appt this morning, so I asked her how I might handle this text. She suggested I simply reply back asking what she needed. I did that, and offered to bring her lunch. Which is what I ended up doing. She thanked me, and let me know that her Vit D levels are beyond overdose levels and she could have gone into kidney failure. Last fall, her levels were alarmingly low so she started taking this supplement, apparently she's been taking way too much of it. She seems to think this will address all her symptoms. We'll see.
IC advised that I take her up on the Nov 1st move out "offer", even though W clearly isn't ready to move out then and only wanted my permission to delay until the new year. IC asked "can you really do 2.5 months more of this? Can your kids?" She suggested taking the initiative to plan for her to move rather than waiting for her to decide would be a 180 of sorts. She suggested I writ her a letter.
What do the vets think? Do I ask her to leave Nov 1?
M: 33 W: 33 M: 9 T: 10 3 S's: 8, 6 and 1.5 BD: 8/3/14 Living together
IC advised that I take her up on the Nov 1st move out "offer", even though W clearly isn't ready to move out then and only wanted my permission to delay until the new year. IC asked "can you really do 2.5 months more of this? Can your kids?" She suggested taking the initiative to plan for her to move rather than waiting for her to decide would be a 180 of sorts. She suggested I writ her a letter.
What do the vets think? Do I ask her to leave Nov 1?
Foot, I am interested in what the vets think of this, too. Because I'm becoming more and more interested in setting and keeping a move out date for H, even if he has to go to a hotel. He is being so picky about places to rent that he hasn't found anything in the two and a half months that he's been seriously looking (6 months since he first started talking about it). I'm just about ready to try something different.
