my chance = HIS chance

[makingmagic]

Hey Sandi... where did you go? More advice please..... others are welcome to chime in too!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today:

He asked me again if I wanted to go on Friday to work thing. I'm sure he could sense my apprehension. I have not jumped at ANY offer , because of his lazy or hidden ways. He was making it seem very "work like" and not about fun for us. I asked if we could talk for a moment and asked if this event was about "work" or ???. When I asked him about it, he was uptight & did not want to label it. Do I want to go or not? I said "no" when asked like that. He started carrying on with work type stuff, coming and going from the room. I commented that I thought that we were talking, and he told me that I could follow him as he has things to do. (This is "chasing" while he works and I refuse to do this (old behaviour)... but, I did). He wants to know why I need to define everything. I said that because I have come to realize that I am a person who needs closure and when I don't understand things, I keep trying to clarify. I said its not like he is making it seem like its about wanting time with me... He said, "thats obvious as we could be making this purchase online & not going for dinner & an evening out/over night" I said "no, obvious is when its not work related and its an offer for bed & breakfast stay, etc".

He does NOT want to commit to ANYTHING here. I want reassurances of his efforts towards R, how can I get this? His apprehension is scaring me. If he cannot commit, then neither will I!! <<<<< this makes me ANGRY!!

I told him that when he isn't obvious and clear then I get turned off and pull back. That if he has reservations, then that makes me have them too. He said he doesn't have reservations, that he is just going to go and have fun... Im making a big deal about it. That guys are like this. I told him that I don't want to assume & have expectations that it is better to be clear.

He needs to know that I do have reservations about HIM... that I am not so assured and available just because he offers. I am not sure how to show/display that. He just assumes everything and I naturally fall into play.... he has ALL control!

He also mentioned that its a good test before we go to Miami.

He is testing me.. he has the control. What about my testing him? He needs to know that he is failing my test if he cannot commit to even simple things like reassuring me.