Originally Posted By: rppfl
I do know he's said some incredibly hurtful things to her (I wish you had died in that car accident), and yet they carry on.


Uh...Wow... I guess it's not entirely relevant, but any idea what that's about? Did he say that (and the other hurtful stuff) after his diagnosis, or was that how he was before? My W has never said anything like that, that's for sure.

My W has said she is terrified I won't be able to get over her betrayal, and that even if I say I'll stay now, she knows I might wake up months from now and say that I just can't do it. She says she knows she would deserve it, but that she is committed to changing no matter what because she doesn't want to live that way anymore...for herself and for our kids, even if she can't save our marriage. She said me catching her was a blessing in disguise, because she can't imagine continuing to live her life the way she was living it and in fact could picture herself winding up dead if she doesn't change.

I don't know... It's not even that I necessarily doubt her sincerity (although part of me does)...I just worry that no matter how sincere she is, if this is truly an addiction than it will have all the hallmarks of an addiction--which means I have to plan on relapses, and continued deception...having to be on my toes all the time. I love her... but I don't know if I have it in me anymore to be and do what it's going to take. I want to be there for her, if she's being for real about her guilt and wanting to change, but I'm not even sure what "being there for her" looks like anymore.

Last edited by stumps; 10/15/14 07:17 PM.

H: 43
W: 37
M: 11 years
T: 12 years
S: 11
D: 8
ILYBINILWY, "I want to move out" and "I want a divorce": 3/23/14
MC started: 9/22/14
Affair and past infidelity discovered: 9/26/14
Piecing: 10/20/14