Trying to stay patient- part 6

[Mozza]

That's what I struggle with. If this were a girlfriend who broke up with me, I wouldn't have a problem with either one of us dating before coming back together. But this is my W of 15 years. It's so hard to get my head wrapped around her being with other men (which she has), then us coming back together. But I also know that I can't think of it that way- our M is dead, she's already gone. Just a difficult thought to process/accept...

Yes, it's hard to accept. It seems to happen on a hormonal level and reasoning can't entirely calm us down. It must be biological: we found a mate and want to protect it from other males. With a strong bond developed over 15 years of marriage, it's even harder to let go. I wish you to find the strength. Just know that it won't help to try to rationalize and justify your jealousy, not outside of a committed relationship.

I still haven't heard anything from W on her plans since she said she'd call me this past Sunday. No answer on continuing with MC, which is scheduled for tomorrow morning. I'm planning on going regardless if she shows or not, which I'm assuming she will not. Can't control her actions, right?!

That's what I do: I never ask anything. It's important that she take responsibility for her actions, that she skip the MC because of her choice, not because she turned down your demands. I'm wondering if this MC is pleasant for her? Is she looking forward to it? If not, I wonder if it's really helping. I'm of the mind that the WAW needs to look forward to your M, not see it as work and a burden. Not sure how aligned this is with DBing though.

Took the boys to a hockey game last night and D10 didn't want to go. Without thinking twice, I called my mom to see about watching her. It wasn't until after I hung up the phone that it even dawned on me to see if W could watch her. Suppose I'm just so used to being a single dad, it was my natural instinct to call my parents.

I think it's perfect: don't ever ask her to babysit. Don't ask her anything. Don't give her a chance to be annoyed by you and to reject you.

Congrats on the GAL efforts and have fun on Friday!