standing for me

[Ahoy]

I am totally in your corner. I'm just going to move forward and see what transpires. I do think my H is mentally off balance right now, which is why I was willing to stand for him. But I'm not willing to be in an open marriage and stand by while he has an affair. While I do think that standing by a marriage is serving as a good role model for D14, I also think that standing up for myself and not living in an open marriage are also serving as a good role model for her.

My grandfather left my grandmother back in 1976. They separated but she never granted him a divorce. She stood by him in spite of his many affairs, and paid all of his nursing home costs until he died of Parkinsons in his mid-70s, in 2006. I know what standing looks like. She made her vow and stood by it. I respect her for it, but I know that's not something I could do -- stand for decades without a real relationship. Self-sacrifice to the end. My grandfather lost a lot of respect from his children. My grandmother enjoyed their adoration to the end. This, my friends, is karma.