Thanks Mozza- it took me several mos of reading stories before I decided to take the plunge as well. If sharing my story has encouraged you or anyone else to share their struggle, I consider it a success. There's NO WAY I would be where I am today without all the help/advice I've been given by complete strangers who take time out of their own lives to help myself and others.

And thanks for the feedback. This piece really stood out to me:
Originally Posted By: Mozza
You say that you can't accept that she dates other men? Then you have to move on because you have no power over it (other than the power to driver her away). Or perhaps you have to accept that she'll do this detour on her way back to you. A lot of men have accepted it. Say all you want that you won't accept it, but remember: you have no control over it.

That's what I struggle with. If this were a girlfriend who broke up with me, I wouldn't have a problem with either one of us dating before coming back together. But this is my W of 15 years. It's so hard to get my head wrapped around her being with other men (which she has), then us coming back together. But I also know that I can't think of it that way- our M is dead, she's already gone. Just a difficult thought to process/accept...

I will admit that a big problem of mine has been to continue following all of that great advice. I'd think I was dong fine, then would find out W was with OM and I'd freak out and backslide. Or W would dangle just enough of the carrot to keep me from detaching.

I've received quite a bit of advice these past few posts, giving me a lot to think about. I still haven't heard anything from W on her plans since she said she'd call me this past Sunday. No answer on continuing with MC, which is scheduled for tomorrow morning. I'm planning on going regardless if she shows or not, which I'm assuming she will not. Can't control her actions, right?!

Took the boys to a hockey game last night and D10 didn't want to go. Without thinking twice, I called my mom to see about watching her. It wasn't until after I hung up the phone that it even dawned on me to see if W could watch her. Suppose I'm just so used to being a single dad, it was my natural instinct to call my parents. GAL- Took Friday off to take the kids to a pumpkin show, then going to see a co worker's band Fri night. Also have some other interests I'd like to explore. Time to take action instead of just thinking about them.