Need help. Scared, confused pt 2

[Jefe]

IDK, Cadet, it was just so large I didn't want it to get lost in the meaningless blogging/journaling that I do, I guess.

I got a string of texts this morning starting about 3:45 or so from the W. Just waffling back and forth on: "hey I'll take the girls today" and "they can spend the night this night", then retracting it then not... We've been here before almost 6 weeks ago when she texted early in the morning that she loves me and misses me and wished she was perfect and wished that she never made mistakes. (God, how I'd give anything to be back in that place and time) Then later this morning she calls and still can't make up her mind. I don't think she's been sleeping much. Wish I knew what to do or say. I know I need to pull back more than ever. Its the advice I get and the advice I give. It still sounds counter productive some days. I didn't sleep worth crap last night, either. Mind a mess with worry, guilt, heartbreak, and grief. Thank God I went to bed early to try and offset the sleepless hours.

I sit and have useless, unproductive thought like wondering what she's doing and why she's doing it and if she misses us as much as we miss her. Did I pave the road back home smooth enough, did I remember to leave the light on. Does she know I forgive her and none of this at this point is so bad we can't pick up the pieces and move on?

Then I remember aliens took my wife away 3 months ago.

Just having a tearful morning, sorry people.