I loved the person he was. I loved our life and our family. I trusted him and he was my best friend.
All of those things are gone now, though. He is simply not that man anymore, and I don't know what the outcome of his MLC will be. I don't know the kind of man he might become.
But right now he is a man who left out of the blue to have an affair, and to me that is not attractive.
Do I love him?
I don't know. I really don't.
Ahoy, I get this. Sometimes I believe I still love H, despite all intelligent evidence that I shouldn't. I do love my family and wish I still had it intact. I do love my life, my house, my neighborhood, my friends. Can I have those if I don't have H? They seem all tied together right now. Do I in fact love HIM? I don't know, either.
