Gwen, It's OK, don't be sorry. We understand how you feel better than most anyone. We all have our list of crazy things our S's have done/are doing. We also know the feeling of betrayal, of how can this person who just a little while ago went on and on about how important their family was to them now doesn't want a thing to do with them. It's important to allow yourself to feel the feelings but you also need to learn to let them go or they will eat you up inside.
Keep processing. Keep learning and try and remember that it's OK to feel the way you do. Just don't let yourself get stuck.
