Newcomer living in Hell

[bravo61]

Kinda glum tonight. She didn't send shoes w/S so I had to meet her at her place to get them. She opened garage (she got there from work at same time) and I ran in and got them. I asked to please not go back my car to see kids as I knew D would have melt down. I wasn't gruff when I said it was just tired & stressed looking. I didn't want S to be late to school. When she first saw me she said "uh oh. I see rain clouds around your head". She snapped at my request and I explained my reasoning and said hey no need to snap at me. I apologized if I made her feel I was mad at her(her assumptions again), hugged her & left.

She called this evening & vented bout the neighbor keeping her awake, I listened & validated. I asked why she got so upset this morning. She said her PTSD flared up when she perceived I was in a bad mood. I told her again I was sorry and she said sorry too. Doesn't PTSD only flare up with outside triggers? Her C has really put that in her mind and is now a justification of everything. I have given no "triggers" that I'm aware of. Since I've lived hear I've been nothing but kind, loving, considerate, and respectful. Even my S has noted that she treats me like crap.

On a good note, really looking forward to the trip. I'm making a I pod playlist with fave songs for everybody. I think W will be surprised at how impt things that she likes are to me and that I make a point to remember them. But I'm sure I'll screw it up somehow in her mind.

S asked tonight why I'm so nice to W. I told him because I love her and that's how God wants us to love others. Also explained that I'm trying to be an example to him and that you never give up on those you love. Told him that if he ever went through a rough patch I would love him like that too. He got teary eyed and hugged me saying"I love you daddy. I hope mama won't destroy our family".

Argh!!!!!!!
WTH am I supposed to say to that?