GGG, I find it so fascinating....human behavior in general. This mess? It's a whole new school of study. We can't change the crisis. But I'm seeing where our behavior can really stir them up, or let their negative bubble deflate, as you so eloquently described.

LiveNow, thank you for the encouragement about the job! I'm hopeful!

Daring, we WILL get through this, no matter what. The M as we knew it, was long gone. The rest is business. It may sound cold to say it, but that's the thought that keeps me going. Paper can't change how I feel, and whether I stand. Only I can.



Soooo.....Just as I'm doing my celebratory-proud-of-myself dance......God yanks my ponytail from behind, and pulls me back saying, "Hold on there, Shining".

I didn't mention a few spew-details (tried to edit 7 emails of it). H also said he was blocking my number from being able to call or text him (which I don't do, but it was during the control rant and telling me how it's gonna be).

This evening, I looked at my phone, and I missed 2 texts from H which were sent 30 minutes earlier.

I'm feeling all full of myself, and roll my eyes reading the messages, thinking, "ok, what now?"

H told me that one of our two-closest couple friends (we did everything together, trips, parties, family stuff) just found out their oldest S shot himself and died.

Well, that brings a person back to ground pretty fast. Perspective adjusted.




H gave me the basic details. I thanked him for letting me know.

I'm ok. H seemed ok. There is nothing for anyone to do right now, except pray. He was in his 20's and has 4 kids under 12. His wife died of cancer a little over a year ago.

Things like this....shakes a person back to earth. I don't have much to complain about. I have everything I need, which isn't much. But it's everything that matters. It sure could be far worse.

Also, it reminds me to again....never "assume" I know what H is thinking, feeling, or texting me until I actually know. We never really know. I keep thinking I know. But I don't.

Hearing of this brought up some of my biggest fears from February...don't know how to overcome those, but I know I'll need to.



And before you comment, Mighty....I PROMISE I'm not trying to copy your last few years. It looks like it....but I'm not. Really. This can stop anytime now. An-nee-ti-me. Like now. Now is good. Annnnnnnddd cut. I'm full. Saying "when".