LOL. When I was on the roller coaster, I gave up drinking. I don't drink much as it is (cheap date - inherited that) but it had a way of bringing out emotions in a bad way. I waited a while before drinking or listening to country songs
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Even though I listen to her vent about her dad, which is very seldom, because she really acts like he does not exist, I don't let her say disrespectful things. It does feel good to take the high road. Even though I cut loose when the kids aren't around.
Can I suggest something? Your daughter may be expressing her anger and "testing" you when she does. Remember that she is protective of you and what happened. Her way of dealing with it, right now, is to be angry and to express that. While you don't want to interfere, she won't understand you keeping her from bad-mouthing her dad in the way you intended. Or may not would be a better way to put that.
Open and honest communication would be something to try. Maybe ask why she says that vs. telling her not to talk that way. Or maybe telling her that talking about her father like that is not a good thing, care to talk about what you're feeling?
The idea would be to open the door for her to express her feelings, safely with you, so you can help guide her.
Just a thought. It's a fine line, but one that you wouldn't walk for long. She may have a few things to say about your health and upcoming surgery as well. I suspect that its not easy for her to deal with and learn how to deal with at the same time.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
