I swear my wife knows when I am doing something for myself and she does something to interfere.
Excellent advice from the others, LT. If I may, one thing that stands out is the disarray and control fight going on with the trio - your W, the FIL and the lawyer (British cover band name? ) When it comes to negotiation, you can't negotiate with an irrational person, but you can be very organized. Organization vs. chaos is very effective and important to getting what you need for the kids. You may or may not need to give up anything to get full custody and the house etc. Or you may need to. As long as you know what is negotiable and what is not (your perspective) and stay organized, you'll navigate it well. Not as quickly as you'd like, but it'll turn out well.
The emotions that your W goes through with all of this is similar to what you are going through + whatever else she is doing. That is only relevant in so much as she will irrationally (to your perspective) react to things as if her life depends on it. For strange things most likely, and possibly not for things you find important. Or that she found important in the past. No rules in that realm. No guessing.
As for the interference. Yeah, they do that. Expect it. Heck, mine still tries to do that kind of stuff all these years later. It happens, but its manageable once you take the emotion out of it. Consider the source.
Doing things for your self when you can is important. Make it a priority and stick to it. It's really helpful to keep that consistency.
Your perspective is really good and I think you'll be more than fine. I think your kids will as well.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
) When it comes to negotiation, you can't negotiate with an irrational person, but you can be very organized. Organization vs. chaos is very effective and important to getting what you need for the kids. You may or may not need to give up anything to get full custody and the house etc. Or you may need to. As long as you know what is negotiable and what is not (your perspective) and stay organized, you'll navigate it well. Not as quickly as you'd like, but it'll turn out well. 
