I decided to send the quick reply late last night, not seeking any specific result, but trying to do what I believed was right.
This morning, there was an email response from H which was sent at 1:41am. On a work night.
He was never up like this in the middle of the night like this, pre MLC. He has been matching so much that is typical.
Me (sent at 10:00 pm): Just letting you know I got your email and I'll get back to you later when I have time.
H email (1:41am) Really? It probably Took you more effort to write that email and just answer my questions. Please don't play games and make this ugly please.
....2 "pleases". Must really not want this to get ugly, but if it does, I'm sure it's all my fault....
Me (8:00am) No games and not being ugly. Just super busy.
H (8:20) Ok, Shining.
I hate the feeling of things not being friendly, but it's not getting to me like it used to. I believe it's necessary right now to be distant from him. This is new for me.
From what I read, none of this really matters in the spinning whirlwind of his MLC mind.
IN BETTER NEWS: I just received an email from the President of the company where I interviewed last week. He said they are making a decision by tomorrow, and will be contacting me. The HR lady followed his email with a request for references.....looking good so far!!
Oh yay, Shining!!!! Fingers and paws crossed for you.
H? You can do what you think is right. Be cordial. Don't impede the process. However, know this. Ultimately, at this juncture, he will think what he thinks.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Shining, You are doing great and I did like your responses to your h. It appears that he can't sleep. A lot of them can't sleep at night.
That's great news about the company. I do hope you get the job and from what you've posted, you must might have it in the bag. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I contacted my references, and they are ready to take the call when it comes. The President knows I'll be traveling tomorrow....he's a NYer! He said he will be sure and leave a message...... Eeeek!
I've been busy getting things in place for the trip. S18 and I are so excited!!!
Lots and lots of emails from Grumpy McSpew today. Apparently, my silence has a paranoia effect.
After the initial intro from H, "Oh, NOW I see what you're doing!" Following were long, spewing, rants of how great he has been...even used the term, "out of the goodness of my heart"... And how I must want to make this nasty.....
......because silence = nasty. (Huh?)
He listed ridiculous examples of bills and things "he" has paid over 4 years .....as if it was out of his personal money. Like hospital bills. I guess I owe him for my surgery now?
Hello?? We are M. He's so delusional. I know how this works. I'm not even a little bit rattled. (yawn)
He said if he wanted to he could just come get my car and turn it in to to dealership. And how would I like that. And if he tally's xyz together, I may actually owe HIM money... (Double yawn)
He said, "I just want to get this over with." I'm sure he does. That reads to me, as if he wants the pain to be over with. He is driven to get this done, thinking it will stop his pain.
As much as D hurts, and complicates things, I honestly wish it were that easy for his pain to stop. If my signature on a piece of paper could lift the fog?? Heckkkk yeah!
He has to learn through experiencing it. I get that. I don't like it, I don't agree, but it's his need. That's what this MLC thing is all about. It's not about me.
After 4 emails, I responded with: "I hear you. I know you want this over with. I'm not fighting you, or it. I have never been unfair to you. I have not done one thing to try and hurt you since the day we got together. I am not going to start now."
Then 3 more emails from H with a very clear change in tone. That was intriguing to me. I didn't answer a single claim he made. I would have bullet pointed every detail preMLC. Well, no more ranting, at least. He seems to have calmed down. I didn't respond anything further.
I don't know if what I did was good or bad.... I feel better. I didn't take his bait and get angry. I ignored the false details of his claims. I didn't take it personal.
Strangely, I feel kinda strong....that was even a little.... dare I say......fun?
That may be taking it a little too far.....but I'm good at that.
oooohh boy, S. He was jumping up and down trying to get your attention...and you handled it really well. As we discussed, sometimes you gotta follow your gut.
And hey...taking things a little too far..aint always a bad thing. Just sayin.
Wouldnt you like to be a fly on the wall at his place right about now? Ok, my bad, no one needs to see that. LOL!
Hey Shining! Glad to hear about the job. Got my fingers crossed for you but to me it sounds like you're golden!
As for H and his spews. I noticed whenever my W would start ranting about this or that (usually money) all I had to do was say something along the same lines you did and the next text would be a total change in tone! It's like they have this idea in their head that you are spending all your time scheming ways to stop them from getting the happiness that is waiting just as soon as you "let them go". When you respond in an even, sane way, it takes all the juice out of their rant.
You are doing great, Shining. Have a great weekend!!
OMG, Shining! This is exactly how it went for me in March! This is taking me right back... UGH!
Don't let him get to ya. Let it roll, babe! He is the one going crazy inside. No need to make you the same way. Seriously, years with us... months in limbo.... then all of a sudden this needs to be done yesterday. It's like, slow your role, playa... she's got stuff going on and you can't do anything about it. Shining is busy. You, Grumpy McSpew, will have to wait until my girl handles her business. Then, she will, get with you. When she is ready. Grump. Let it roll, Shining. Nothing you can do about his moods.
