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essjay Offline OP
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Thanks Tar, I so want to do that.

It's a real dilemma for me; I'm trying to think of the bigger picture though.


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Together: 27 years M25
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Bomb Droppped 21 June 2014
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Seeing that you don't know who she's with, where or how long, I wouldn't reply. When my W emailed me to tell me she was taking some 'much needed mental health days' in FL, I assumed it was with her mom. I responded that I hoped she got some rest and had a great time! Then I found out she was with OM and friends- I regretted that I had sent any response at that point.



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Originally Posted By: Tarheel
Then I found out she was with OM and friends- I regretted that I had sent any response at that point.


Yep, I did the same thing.


M 16 T 17
W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14
ILYBNIL 5/14
A discovered 6/14
D papers served via USPS 8/14
Filed my response 9/14
D final 5/15...
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essjay Offline OP
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So a couple of replies so far.
I'm leaning towards not replying at all..


Ages: Me 58 Wife 50
Together: 27 years M25
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Bomb Droppped 21 June 2014
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If she didn't ask any questions, there's no need in my very inexperienced opinion.


M 16 T 17
W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14
ILYBNIL 5/14
A discovered 6/14
D papers served via USPS 8/14
Filed my response 9/14
D final 5/15...
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Originally Posted By: essjay
So a couple of replies so far.
I'm leaning towards not replying at all..


new to your sitch....

but I always felt, unless there is a direct question that requires a response, then no response is needed.


Me: 43
M: 10y
S:15
ILYBINILWY 2/18/13
W moved out 2/18/13
Filed for D: 2/17/13
Got DB: 2/20/13
Got DR: 2/23/13
180 & LRT Began: 2/25/13
D Final Dec '13
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Jay,

I think by staying silent and not responding to W sends a strong message to her that you are not okay with her going out to "play" with other people.

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essjay Offline OP
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FYI and FWIW I didn't reply to either of her messages.

W is due back from her week away tomorrow and is going to be with us for
a day or two before heading to spend the weekend with her mother.

Two concerns.
What does the next 36 hours or so have in store for me and the girls?
I've really no idea what to expect from her especially as I've been NC.
This last week has been good with just me and the girls - I've enjoyed their
company and the atmosphere around the house has been much better.

Haven't had much contact with MIL for a few weeks. Previously she was very
supportive of me and the marriage. Has MIL come to terms with the situation?
Will W try to portray me in a bad light to her family to try and justify her decision?
I've been agonising over whether to contact MIL?
Some interesting conversations to be had there.
Oh to be fly on the wall!

Jay


Ages: Me 58 Wife 50
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Jay,

When W comes back home, treat her like a neighbor. You don't need to be too friendly or chatty with her.

As for MIL, shut it. Don't confide in her for blood is always thicker. Beside that, your W will feel betrayed that you broke your M's confidences with MIL. It's best to keep your mouth zipped when it comes your ILs.

You just don't know what W talks about with her family or friends. Ignore mindreading thoughts and stay on your path.

What did you do with the girls over the week? I hope it had some fun activities and just simply father-daughters bonding time.

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essjay Offline OP
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It was a great week with quality father and daughter time!
Movies, dinners and conversations, even just watching tv together and
chilling out after work.
Sunday after gardening and various other house chores ( I did some painting for
the first time in a while!). Eldest daughter and boyfriend cooked Sunday dinner for us all and it was great!


Ages: Me 58 Wife 50
Together: 27 years M25
D24 D21
Bomb Droppped 21 June 2014
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