Don't post (or give to her, or even tell her what you have) your evidence -- just say "I know all about you and _______, including _________ (maybe dropping some specific detail in this 2nd blank)." If you give her all your specifics, she will:
a) know the source of your intel;
b) lie to try and refute it;
c) assume (correctly?) that you don't have anything else.
There is power in them not knowing what you know, and what you DON'T know, and so they have to then assume you know EVERYTHING.
Make sense?
Also, there's no sense listing your "demands" until such time she asks back in to the marriage. To do so now just smacks of a "grand pronouncement" and holier-than-thou.
Yes, there is a legal principle called condonation and the rules vary by state. Is yours a "fault" (cause) state for divorce? If it's not, it's not going to really matter.
