Welcome to the board, and I'm sorry you're here. I saw that you came over to the MLC board from Newcomers, per Wonka's suggestion. She's a smart one, that Wonka.
Have you read DR and DB books yet? I couldn't find whether you had answered the other posters.
I agree with the others who have answered, it is never too late. There are instances where people have gone as far as mediation and backed out, and worked toward reconciliation. Also, couples who have gone through with D, and still end up reconciling later.
The main thing for you to do, is to safely tuck away the M for now. You can revisit that later. Take this gift of time, and focus on you. After a while, you will begin to see the importance of this.
If you can be as open and honest as possible, you will receive and benefit from the most valuable advice. People here have been there, and really get it, where family and friends typically do not.
Learning about ow hurts like he!!. I know. I wish I didn't have to know. I learned early on that having attention on ow was pointless. It really helped me grow to move beyond that. The reality is, she is a bandaid. The less focus you can put on ow and H, the better. I know it's hard, especially on the beginning.
I'm glad to read you are already focused on GAL, and recognizing the needs of your kids. That will take you far. Also, glad to read you are looking into legal steps to protect yourself financially. MLC can wreck havoc on the finances, and many here can attest to the devastation it can cause.
And no, being S doesn't mean you are giving up. You can always have hope. You can never go back to the old R. That didn't work. You would need to create a new R going forward.
Your H is on his own journey right now. By default, you are on a journey of your own. The hope is that he returns whole, and you can decide about your R then. Gwen, you love him. Being S doesn't change that. He is in crisis. You love him enough to let him go for now, and keep living your life.
Can you describe what some of the complaints your H had about you? This is difficult, but important.
