I did that once before and met with total denial. This post, when I went to the coffee shop:

"I told her I knew that she was not being completely honest with me and until she wanted to be then I wasn't going to devote myself to an M where I'm the only one in it 100%. If she decided that she could never be fully truthful then we would have to separate (no D word).

Engage spewfest. Right in the middle of her rant about not wanting to see me until we meet out of town in a few days I was out the door and am writing this from the coffee shop."

Only now I have it saved and ready. I've been playing a scenario in my mind where when she gets back from this trip she's on, there would be a note on the door telling everything including a printout of the evidence to support it. The note would basically say that I would no longer be walked on or treated like a backstop if a relationship with OM2 wasn't going to work. I would be at a hotel somewhere for a few days, and the note would tell her not to be home when I get back. I would not respond to any of her calls/messages until I felt it was time to discuss D, and lay out the absolute bottom line if R was even possible (NC w/both OM's, full disclosure/access, sincere remorse and verbal/written statement of wanting to re-commit to the marriage). On the other hand, I have a suspicion that OM2 is actively trying to steal my W away and the two of them are just biding their time until his probably divorce goes through so W can leave me high and dry. The body of evidence is not robust enough to support that quite yet, and I'm working an exercise this and next week so I won't have time to talk to a lawyer about my rights and how to get the D started. One thing I did read was about a thing called, "condonation," where if I don't take some sort of action towards the adulterer(s) then I'm effectively condoning the activity and can't use it as grounds for divorce.

I have already told her that I had forgiven her for the affair with OM1, but under the assumption that it had stopped, and to be honest her communications with him recently have been fairly innocent compared to OM2. She doesn't know that I know the extent of their affair.

I'm looking at giving the screws a twist after this exercise is done and I can talk to a lawyer, assuming this thing is still going on, which I can see being the case in almost every scenario.