Can you tell me why you are ignoring his calls? Just as you know his routines well enough to believe he didn't just drop off to sleep, he also knows you. You don't want your actions to resemble game playing to him.
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Do I ignore the fact that he is now lying? Lying is dismissing what he did!
Well, since you can't control what he does, and since you are not his mother.....I would not bring it up. It might be a little white lie that keeps him from saying, "I just wanted you to shut up!" Today is a new day and he is contacting you. If you have no hidden cameras in his house that proves he is lying, I say let it ride.
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I agree.. when HE feels he is done, then he is done... and the way he goes about it, comes across as dismissal. I don't like it. I would not do that to him. I don't think thats the way you treat someone you care about. I don't want to be treated this way.
I don't blame you. Neither would I like it.
You could suggest a compromise. If he will tell you he has to end the call in a couple of minutes.....and allow you time to wrap it up, then you won't send text messages immediately following the phone discussion. That way, both of you give & take a little.
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Do I not approach this on a personal level too? ending calls abruptly left me hurt/discouraged.
If it were me, I would try what I suggested above.....this time. Again, emphasize how you are the type of person who needs to feel they have exhausted some subjects and if the calls ends abruptly, it is very difficult for you to deal with on several levels (emotionally, professionally, etc.) I wouldn't specify "hurt/discouraged" at this time. But if it continues, then you may have to be more descriptive.
But MM.......if he tries to honor this by compromising, you will have your part to fulfill. (No bugging him with more texting "after" the conversation has ended.) He could very well feel that as pressure, smothering, nagging.......who knows what? I have noticed that he is like you said.....when he's through he is ready for it to stop. So I think you hurt yourself when you text him after the call ends.
I wonder if that is why you have such a strong need to "clarify" yourself after having a discussion. You struggle with closure on the discussion until you think all possible avenues have been exhausted? If so, it may be tough on him to be around you...at times, since he has a different personality. If you could learn to discipline yourself in this area, it might just prove to be a very positive outcome in your personal connection with him.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Today is a new day and he is contacting you. If you have no hidden cameras in his house that proves he is lying, I say let it ride.
