But I've been reading with interest Starsky's thoughts about asking the WAS to "give it a go", basically. To say something like, "I know our feelings have changed, but I believe (and there is research to support this), that action and thought can lead to changed feelings. So, now that we've had some time apart, I wanted to ask if you'd be willing to recommit to ATTEMPTING to gain back our feelings. There would be work involved and we would have to commit fully to doing that work. But, if after a reasonable period of time-- at least 6 months or more-- we feel like things haven't moved forward at all, or our feelings haven't begun to change, then we can decide to call it quits.
We never attempted this-- with expert support from someone well trained and very pro-marriage-- for a reasonable amount of time, AND while we were both actively engaged and committed to the work.
Go ahead and smack me on the head.
I know deep down this is big time pursuing and temp checking. Maybe its my hail mary. Maybe I will wait a few more months and ask him this,and if he refuses then I can say I've tried everything and I'll be ready to drop the rope and call it quits.
