I see why 25yrs is advocating more for "be patient, show compassion and let her figure out her way out of this mess".
This may shock you, but I'm actually not even totally against this approach. ^^^ Provided (and this is a key distinction) you separate yourself and set up strong boundaries while she's figurin'.
MLC'ers do this all the time -- "stand" for their marriages (even the face of infidelity) -- but it can only be done if you remove yourself from the situation. You are way too emotional, introspective and caring of a guy to have this under your nose every day. It'll eat at your gut and literally make you sick.
It's not my approach, nor the one that I observe is most effective, but it can be done.
