I don't want to make any long-term decisions right now, that's for sure. But W says she is remorseful and full of regret and doesn't want to leave/separate/divorce any more. Things got so bad a week or so ago that I had to call 911 and she was taken to the hospital for a psych evaluation.
We are still in MC, and she is seeing a new IC that specializes in EMDR therapy. W says she is disgusted with herself, that she feels like a monster, that she knows what a liar and a manipulator she has been not only with me and but for pretty much her entire life and that she doesn't want to be that person any more. It all certainly seems genuine...but how to tell? Is this just more manipulation? How could I ever be certain? Or ever trust her again?
I know I love her... but I don't know that I could ever recover from this. Do couples ever come back from something this extensive? I have no experience with anything as deep and dark as this. This goes beyond "run-of-the-mill" cheating/infidelity. MC and IC have suggested possible sex addiction and/or attachment/personality disorder. I have no idea if these potential diagnoses (assuming they're even accurate...maybe W is just an @ssh0le and I've been duped for 12 years by her) can be overcome within the context of a relationship/marriage. Am I crazy for even wondering?
Part of me says run and don't look back. Part of says I meant my vows when I made them... and the biggest part of me wants to figure out what is best here for our children.
H: 43 W: 37 M: 11 years T: 12 years S: 11 D: 8 ILYBINILWY, "I want to move out" and "I want a divorce": 3/23/14 MC started: 9/22/14 Affair and past infidelity discovered: 9/26/14 Piecing: 10/20/14
