Going Down Hill

[zed]

Finally had a constructive conversation last night. I'm in Canada so it was thanksgiving long weekend. I was not working so I made plans with the kids. Went to do something fun on sat. Invited W, which she declined. Sun, bummed around house. W took kids to relatives for thankgiveing supper. Did not want me to come so I went to a friends. Monday took kids to my sister's for Thanksgiving invited W she declined. Got home W told me she thought I was hording kids. She said I never spent a whole bunch of time with them before so she feels I am trying to win them over her. I calmly said. Before we were in this spot any weekend I would have off we would do something fun with the family. So nothing really changed expect you did not want to go. She opened up a bit and I could she was mad and angry. She said I always put work before the family. And now it seems like you are spending more time with the kids to hurt W. I said I can see how it seems like that. But it is not what I want to do at all. I want you to spend time with the kids and have fun with them. She asked me a bit about how things were and I agreed they were not great and that I do not want that relationship again. So I think I planted maybe a couple seeds of doubt. Still have yet to tell her I'm not moving out. But I want to try to get my game plan together a little bit better before I do. No use rushing into saying something. That is something that I always did. I now have a 2 day rule. Do react to anything she says for 2 days so I can think things through