Hello everyone! I had a very hard day yesterday that is testing me to the max. I'm trying so hard to just make it. I am so close to making some money that I need desperately and things just aren't falling into place. I have sent out several resumes and haven't had one response. In the past I haven't had any problem finding a new job when I needed one. This time, whether it's because I need to find one that allows me to still take my D14 to school in the morning so I'm restricted to a certain area or something else, I'm just not getting even a call or email. I have several clients that are close to buying and all I really need is one or two to "pull the trigger" and I would be fine but it's just not happening.
So, here I am just trying to stay afloat and I get a total blowout on the way home from work. Thankfully it happened after I picked up my D14 and a friend after school and dropped them at McDonald's. It would have been worse if they were in the car with me. The problem is, I can't afford a new tire right now. All I have is the little "spare" that they put in cars now (who's stupid idea was that anyway?). How sad is that? I can't afford to go to the Dr. and I need to for something I've been dealing with for a long time and even if I did, I can't afford the medicine I need either. The idiot that is supposed to handle the money in the startup I'm at has totally blown it and until some more money comes in we are operating on a "shoe string" and I can't even draw the small amount I need to just be able to get a new tire! This is one of the worst parts of this. I have drawn almost no "extra" funds, less than any of the other exec's, but now that I need to, the funds just aren't there! My car payments are so late that I'm afraid that I may get repo'd even if I can get a new tire!
It's a long drive to work for me and making the trip on a small spare just won't work. I have always wanted to move closer to my work but since I wasn't certain if this job would work out, I was waiting to see. Now, even if I get a new job, unless I move, it will need to be close to where my W lives now so I can take my D14 to school on the way in the morning and she moved 30 miles away because it's where all her friends from work live.
I am so stressed out it's unbelievable. I may be able to borrow money from a colleague at work but I hate doing that and it's just one tiny part. Soon my electric bill and water, etc. will need to be paid and while I'm so close to making a few sales, it has to happen soon or I'm done for. I just don't understand why I'm suddenly unable to find a new job. In my business it's not unusual to not make money for stretches but this one just went too long. Of course I thought that if things got too bad I could get some funds from the business but now I can't even do that. So, this morning is going to be me driving down the freeway at 45 mph and going to get a new tire (I hope) and not trying to bring in the funds from the clients that I need to and still not making headway.
This has got to change and soon. Please send some good vibes my way that I make a sale or two in the next couple days folks. In the meantime I'm going to just have to deal with the stress as well as I can.
