Train, roll on ...

[Train]

Not trying to ignore everyone's awesome words of support ... I've read and absorbed and cherished them all ... but I'm not in a good place, y'all.

H is trying to support my "pull-back" approach to pregnant D18 (my one daughter with whom his personality has always kind of clashed). But Baby-Daddy has pulled out and is saying he wants to relinquish his paternal rights, which has been my own personal benchmark for jumping in and helping D18.

Tonight, 24 hours after Baby-Daddy said he's "out," I emptied my soul to H, who balked a little at me providing support to D18.

And my buried, never-talked-about anger and resentment from 2005/06 reared its ugly head. H left ME high-and-dry, pregnant with his son, for another woman. He tried to have his lawyer kick me, our unborn son and my daughters out of our home. How DARE HE insinuate I should withdraw support from my daughter when her child's father has withdrawn support from her?!????

I am so mad I can't see straight right now.