Shining, that post was beautiful, inspiring and real. I am so happy that you are able to come to these realizations and I hope to be there one day myself. You are getting through this journey with grace and dignity and you should be so proud of yourself!
Me- 40 H- 41 S8, D5, S4 M 19 y T 23 Bomb drop 6/2013 H asked for/filed for D 9/2014 22 yo OW discovered 9/19/14 they're engaged and living together
My goodness.....Thank you for the kind words, Mighty, uR, Heather, LiveNow, keep_going, Ahoy, Matt, Ats, and Fthnluv.
It's rather humbling to learn that my journal had such an effect. I tend to have a hard time with compliments. I'm now learning to accept them.
You all encourage and inspire me, consistently.
keep_going, it was especially meaningful to read your post, knowing how long you've been here, and how seldom you have posted. Thank you for that. Your post stunned me still for a bit. In a good way .
Journaling:
Today is day 2 of NC. For those who know me, I have really struggled with the limited contact piece and not pursuing. I've done well not initiating. NC scares the living schmidt out of me.
Nothing was exchanged whatsoever yesterday. Today, an email from H at 8:30 this morning. I have not responded.
My urge to communicate is surprisingly at zero. This, from the girl who used to hang on every notifications and words game, wanting H to stay somehow connected to me.
The email was 2 paragraphs of financial stuff...what he has paid (as if doing me a favor), and asking me if there is anything else to split besides me refinancing the car in my name.
Third paragraph was this:
"I hope you hear back something good from that job interview you had on Friday. I really do wish the best for you. You have some unbelievable great qualities and your are ridiculously beautiful. It is truly too bad about our history. Too much harm to overcome. But I gave it a chance. It just isn't the same."
His financial paragraphs had questions for me to answer. I'm not trying to drag anything out, but I didn't feel like working on that today. I was also, actually busy.
Kids and I had a fun afternoon and evening out. There is a dinner show kind of place that we had been to 15 years ago, when we happened to visit this state. The boys were little, twins 3, s 1. I came across an old photo of them at this place. We decided to "recreate" those poses, 15 years later, in the same setting. OMG.....we had a blast! It was rather epic.
I sent the "before" and "after" pics to their phones, and they were sharing them with all their friends, and posting to Instagram. Lots of giggles. I'm so glad they humor their nerdy mom's ideas.
I will be leaving town Wednesday-Sunday. Needless to say, H doesn't know. Not his business, especially since we don't share kids or anything.
With me being gone, I will not want to address H email until next Monday. I was considering responding something short, simply letting him know I'm not ignoring the questions, but I need to get back with him on them.
H missed a few things, but they are minor. He hasn't mentioned splitting retirement, but we've not been married super long. If we each keep our own accrued retirements and don't need to pay L to factor those amounts into the split, we will both come out better.
All of our M assets have been split or sold. M debt is almost gone. It's pretty easy-peasy. I just want time to research and try to think of anything left out before responding.
I'm open to suggestions and opinions if there is a better response than letting him know, "I'm not ignoring your questions, nor am I trying to stall. Once I have a chance to think about any details we haven't yet considered, I'll respond to the specifics."
I can send that for now, or send nothing. Is a week too long to wait to respond?
I don't think waiting a week is a big deal. He may, but I think you are right on by just acknowledging that you will get back soon. I took a week bc I had a lot going on that week. It was a very stressful week at work.
XH was in monster at the time. I had to unplug my phone and everything. He went berserk. (He was out of town for work). But it seems like your h is being quite the opposite. I would let him know, because you do want to make things easier to work together, and not set him of. A week? No biggie. He should respect that.
I agree with everyone else, just a quick short note. Clark and I talked this weekend and he told me the best thing I did was to leave him alone and keep my mouth shut. Less is more!
Usually when Clark would send an email asking me something, I wouldn't answer. I didn't acknowledge anything. That is up to you, if you want to respond. Clark would get mad and call me out on it later, but you'll be out of town
Atsbaby M:36 H:35 T: 19 M:12 S:11 D:9 BD: 5/4/14 Proof of OW 8/13/14-love note from her 8/19 admits OW 8/22/14 files D w/o telling me 9/20/14 Says he wants to reconcile
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