Sorry for the long initial post, but that is the short version that still catches major details. Since posting that a couple days ago more has changed.
I think I want to confront her with the info I have, but if I do then she knows I'm on to her, and then my way to verify in the future is squashed. At this point I can't trust without a back channel verification, so I don't want to lose that. It just drives me crazy, she doesn't understand I don't ask a question unless I already know the answer. Other than the foot rub night, I keep R talk to a minimum, and even that was minimal. Since I feel I can't confront, I just try to "let it go" since I can't stop what she does or says. I assume confrontation would get a poor reaction from her at this point anyhow.
That said, with the way she was acting somewhat different the last 5 days or so, I checked the wind (snooped) and the few messages I saw were pretty harmless. He mentioned "I miss you" at the end of a message and she made no specific mention of it in her benign response. I still don't trust anything, her next message could have been plans for sex the next day, I don't know. I can't bring myself to snoop any further. I'm tired of the anxiety, loss of appetite, and sleeplessness it brings when it's bad news.
She's said it was over for 5-6 weeks before this, when do I know she's really done and wants to reconcile without snooping? I hate snooping, but I'll do it. Please someone tell me I shouldn't. Thanks.
Me: 37, W: 36 S6, S3 M: 8 T:11 Discovered 1st A: 9/3/14 Began DB: 9/20/14 W "ended" 1st A repeatedly Discovered at least 3 more A's, filed 10/29/14
