I agree with Starsky ... (I know .. .shocker as he is on point with these things) ... but Shodan ... seriously .. even in your posts you have more than stated you will not share your W with a third party. All I can hear now is how bruised your ego is .. and its not going to heal by beating that horse anylonger.
Try a 180 ... dont mention it for a week, let that go, its not the root cause of why you are here among us its just a side effect of it. IF you were giving her what she needs .. she would not have gone elsewhere ... not saying what she did is right .. but like I said before .. SHE needs to end it, otherwise just add it into the things she resents about you and she will move on regardless. You need to become the first choice, and it does appear .. (outside looking in) that she is rethinking. A woman who was going to jet would not be redecorating your house, try filling her love bucket with her LL (Have you read the 5LL .. its worth a read if not for her .. but for yourself so you can understand things better). I get bitter and angry as I wrestle with it too ... did all weekend and decided an act of love this morning just to see what happens ... do a 180, be adventurous .. get crazy ... be you for a bit. Let this thing slow cook .. all great things take time .. dont rush it here ... just relax and let that Third party thing go for a minute ... you will have plenty of pain and things to work through with that once she does commit ... another thing that SHE must choose ... you trying to control it and force her will not give you the results you want if you give it some serious thought.
