Actually our sitch's aren't that far different. There's no clear MLC or OW - though I wonder about both. And actually it was reading your sitch early on that made me wonder if porn had played a role in my sitch than I realised. At some point my H told me he viewed porn every other day. In my attempt to be a progressive, liberal woman I didn't discourage it (though it does bother me to some extent).
Actually I suggested we watch it together sometimes. That was enlightening glimpse into the male brain. We'd be sitting there, I'm reading the news or thinking about something totally different and seemingly out of nowhere H would say "Do you want to watch porn?" Er...no?! Needless to say that only happened a couple of times.
We never did talk about it from the context of - hey, do you think this might be impacting our sex life? I've definitely tabled this for a MC session should we ever get there. I did raise it with IC. She said it was impossible to know what counts as too much use - no reliable studies. Her perspective was that porn damages relationships by making the user over stimulated by visual images. Since real life sex isn't like that, it just becomes disappointing. He stopped initiating. So yeah...we were both left wanting. I'd love to hear what your IC says about it.
And *I AM* an academic so you can see how that plays out for me. Totally with you on wanting to be able to measure progress.
Hang in there. We can do this.
H 37 Me 36 Together 15 years Married 5 years No kids BD Apr 2014 H moved out 2 Jun 2014
