Just thought of something to add. When or if you do have to spell it out, I think he would be more receptive of you telling him it makes you feel better when he does x,y, and z; rather than making it sound as if he is at fault anywhere. (We will know... )
I know you want him to feel the respect for you, etc., and I think he might after he puts it into action, IDK. I just believe it's important how you present it. Does that make sense? Like you did when you asked him to drive you to the family dinner. You didn't make a big deal out of it, and he did what you wanted.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
) 
