When D11 was about six months old and H was unemployed (not his fault... his company had been sold and he had stayed till the bitter end to collect the severance), he was supposedly in the basement "job hunting." He had stepped away and I went down to move some laundry over and saw that he had forgotten to close a window... I immediately confronted him about it, and it led to a really interesting conversation about our mutual dissatisfaction with our sex life. Things got much better after that. It was great to be open and I think that day was good for both of us. (I guarantee he has no memory of that day anymore).
Interestingly, after BD -- maybe even after he moved out, I'm not sure -- he said that that brief period of unemployment was really upsetting and stressful for him. I never knew. I had so much confidence in him, and the severance was so generous, that I saw it as a real blessing in how much time I got with him with our new baby. Now that I know that, and tie it to that porn incident that he probably doesn't even remember, I see how THOSE two things were linked. The fact that we were both dissatisfied with our sex life probably prompted him seeking it out, but his insecurity with where his career was at that time probably fueled the volume.
Hmmm... I wonder if I should process that for now?
Didn't you mention your H is between projects and has been for a bit?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
