my chance = HIS chance

[makingmagic]

Hi Sandi..

As it turns out, unfortunately I was unable to read your message BEFORE he came to get us. However, I was able to do pretty much what you suggested: I called him & told him that I would prefer that since he asked us to go, that I prefer he come & get us. He expressed he was a little annoyed as he was already running late. I told him that I was already in town & he could meet us at work. He was content with that. He came to get us.

The family Thanksgiving was very nice. Both DD & I were lovingly welcomed by all. However, things between Xbf & I seemed a bit strained. He seemed to be displaced & was pacing before sitting on the couch beside me (the only available spot). When he finally did. He offered some of his beer to me. I spent most of my time interacting with all the other family members. I didn't spend much time focused on him, at all. We barely spoke much. At one point the paparazzi came out & our little family became the focus... (I think he was a bit uncomfy with that, but he smiled & put his arm across the back of the couch). At one point, we seemed to have a moment where everyone else was in a diff room & we were alone briefly. He was viewing some photos on his phone & wanted to show me one. I then showed him a few of mine. I was longing for some affection/attention, and leaned in and kissed him, he responded. We were then called for dinner. To my surprise, I was told that I would be seated at the kids table, with his cousin & the younger group. THIS [censored] (as usual)... no one wants to sit at the kids table. LOL... I didn't make a big deal & enjoyed myself at the kids table. Good convo's.

Looking back, I think its odd that I was seated there. Guess who was seated beside him???.... his mother!

After dessert, I excused myself from the kids table as a few others were mingling in the kitchen. I seated myself at the adult table beside his dad. He wasn't even in the room at this time. His dad and I seemed to connect well again and had lots to say & laugh about. At one point, we were discussing camera/cell phones and his difficulty using them. My Xbf sends him a recent photo of my DD & I.

We seemed to linger on much later than most of the other guests, taking our visit into the basement. His Dad seemed to really be enjoying himself having all the company in his home. I think Xbf was trying to indulge longer for the sake of his parents reconnection too.

At the end of the evening, we said our goodbye's to his Dad and he drove us along with his mother (front seat due to her foot injury) back to our car in town. He offered for us to take some left over pie. He was then going to go check on our business property before heading home.

Once back at my parents he sends a text:

All is well. Hope you both had a good time

I replied: We did. Tx. Hope you did too.

I dunno... I kind of feel he was trying to please my DD & I by inviting us, knowing that we miss his family. Also, that he was trying to please his Mom & Dad, by going. Like I said, we barely spoke & he didn't sit with me at the table.... is it me, or is this odd?

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BANG ON!! ... "It may be my assumption, but I look at your stitch as you wanting to start over with a new self respect as well as him doing the things to show that he values you, as well. I am wondering if you missed that period of time in your R with him where his actions showed how much he valued you in his life not missed it, it was just so long ago and our dynamics changed. So when he says or does something that clearly shows that he takes you for granted......or has you way down the list of his prioritiesthis is what happened, business took over, it really stings a lot. So you struggle between wanting him to respect and pursue......and dealing with your attraction to him and wanting back your family life/home."

As you can see Sandi... I do struggle with him taking me for granted & where he places me in his priorities...... Any ideas as to how I can balance all what I want & get what I need? I don't want to fall back into the same relationship again.

THANKS!!