Does anyone else have an OK time praying through this, but struggle actually reading the word? I am OK through church, learning and listening. But picking up the Bible and working through Corinthians is hard. It's also hard to turn on Christian radio. I'm tired of being sobby all the time. It's ridiculous.
Explain a little more, please. You have a tough time with the study because you get emotional or...?
For me, it's the prayer that get my water works flowing most days.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
I can't seem to hear God. (I asked for prayer for this particular problem Sunday at church.) I don't feel abandoned. It's just that the scripture itself seems...not to help me in any way. Now, I have gained solace from the scriptures collected as "Thought Conditioners" by Norman Vincent Peale. I should probably go back to those. I have so much grief that it keeps coming to the forefront of my mind.
Prayer seems to calm me, center me. I focus first on thankfulness, followed by a request for forgiveness, a request for blessings on my children, and prayers for my wife, and prayer for myself comes last. I pray that the Lord be with her in this time of great trial, that she will choose to read and see ALL the word, not just the parts that give her comfort right now - she is leaning heavily on God's grace and mercy, as you might imagine. I have said it before...she prayed (and nagged. The prayer worked better!) me back into seriously reconsidering a relationship with Christ, but now she's in a worse fog than I was, acknowledging God but denying his power. To heal, to make things right.
labug and MrBond have reminded me again and again that her current mindset is her truth. Nevertheless, I don't accept a truth that flies in the face of everything she and I BOTH believe in. So I will take care of myself and my children and let God do what he does - because I'm sure he has a better plan than I do!
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
And sometimes a little faith is what is needed to see us through the darkest times.
You said "to heal, to make things right"
Focus on that. something went wrong for you to get here and you are both hurting in different ways. That has to heal for both of you, then things can be made right.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
"I don't think poorly of you and if I did, what would that mean for you?"
It would mean that I have even more reason to believe that there are people (like yourself) who do hard things for the right reasons.
Me thinking poorly of you would lead to that thought for you? Hmmm interesting.
I believe everyone should stop worrying so much about what others think of them. For many here it's that need to look good to the outside world that brings us here.
Quote:
Probably also that while I don't "deserve" this divorce, my actions (and inaction) certainly made it possible.
The word deserve used in this context always sets my teeth on edge. I think we all deserve to be treated with respect as we walk through life, beyond that who deserves what they get? We get what we get and make the best of it. People get so wrapped around the axle about "I don't deserve this" My kid doesn't deserve to have a chronic illness, my friends kid doesn't deserve to have leukemia after a heart transplant, my Dad didn't deserve Alzheimer's and on and on.
All we can do is accept reality, learn from our mistakes and make the best of this one life for which we've been given responsibility.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
labug and MrBond have reminded me again and again that her current mindset is her truth.
I have immense respect for both MrBond and labug. Yes, her mindset is HER truth. It's not THE truth and it's certainly not God's truth. She's running as fast as she can from that and it will catch up with her sooner or later. Just my opinion. Honestly I don't give a damn about HER truth. We must deal in reality to move forward, other wise we haven't changed a single thing about what got us here in the first place.
As far as not being able to hear God in the scriptures sometimes, I can relate. A good study Bible with lots of foot notes and side bar commentary is what has helped me in the past.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
But recognizing HER truth is part of the reality we're trying to navigate. Especially seeing as how none of us has access to God's truth; merely our own. If we acknowledge that experience is subjective then we can behave in a way that supports what we want rather than destroy it.
God forbid anybody but a merciful God judge me based on objective reality. Where would my culpability begin and end?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
But picking up the Bible and working through Corinthians is hard. It's also hard to turn on Christian radio. I'm tired of being sobby all the time. It's ridiculous.
The Psalms might be more strengthening now than Corinthians.
M:54, H:55 T:33, M:27 12/13 BD: EA 01/14 BD: PA, H leaves 03/14 H & OW break up 05/14 H says he will file for D 08/14 H initiates D 09/14 H wants to R 12/14 Still bungling our way through R
But recognizing HER truth is part of the reality we're trying to navigate. Especially seeing as how none of us has access to God's truth; merely our own. If we acknowledge that experience is subjective then we can behave in a way that supports what we want rather than destroy it.
God forbid anybody but a merciful God judge me based on objective reality. Where would my culpability begin and end?
Just, yes.
We only know the truth of those who post here by what they choose to tell us. That includes me.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I doubt anyone really knows even their own truth let alone someone else's. Events like those we have all experienced dramatically changed each of our 'truths'
Something I teach all the time is that in the absence of absolutes, truth is perception and perception is shaped by everything around and within us
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
