As soon as I came home on Sunday, she was off to see the OM. She said "I'm going to spend the night again and come back home tomorrow night. OK?"
I replied, "No, it's not OK. You spent the day and night with him yesterday and this morning. I was hoping we could spend the rest of Sunday as a family. But I can't stop you from doing what you want."
She replied, "I actually didn't spend much time with [OM] yesterday, and I came back early today and spent the whole day with the kids"
"We could have spent more time this weekend as a family, but you were out, so."
Mindsin,
Maybe I'm just really having trouble understanding your situation, but this whole exchange seems so bizarre to me. And, I also don't understand why you are apologizing for your W lying to her parents?
Do you have a parenting schedule in place? I really don't understand why you are not setting some boundaries. Set a parenting schedule-- this is your time with the kids, this is mine. It's totally bizarre to me that you would have "family" time when she is very open out her affair. Can you help me understand that? That sounds like cake-eating, doesn't it?
So, if she decides to 'dump' your kids on her parents during her scheduled time, that is their issue with her, and you should not be involved at all. Get a schedule in place, make sure your parents and her parents know what the schedule is, put it on a shared calendar somewhere if you have to, and then go live your life. Their issues with her should be separate from yours. Don't be on a "team" with them against your W. It will NOT pull her closer to you.
And do you think that what you said above (which sounded pretty clingy and needy) will pull her closer to you?
Start focusing on YOU, Mindsin. That is the path you need to be on.
