It's not about trying to make her do what you know is right. It is about you making the right decisions for yourself and your kids. Having the attitude of "This is not what I want (a divorce) but I won't stand in your way of getting it". As soon as you let go of her, you will be able to show a man who has grown a pair. A man who is not dependent on his W to make him happy. A man who can have a life with or without her. A man who lays down personal boundaries, and if those boundaries are disrespected, then he makes decisions accordingly.
In other words, stop trying to get her back. It turns men into weak sisters when they do that stuff! If she wants back, she will find you and ask what it will take to work out things.(Or similar words to that effect). Stop being afraid you will "push" her further away. Often times, when the WAW thinks she is getting what she wants.......she will question herself. If she realizes she does love you and decides she does want you, then you acting like a man couldn't push her away. Seeing you act like a self respecting man is attractive to her.
The WAW coming back is a process for her. She has to reach the conclusion on her own. That requires the LBH none assistance in her life. Allow her to discover things on her own. It is much better for her to return out of free choice, rather than pressure.
Reading that put me in a good mood, sandi. Friendly neighbor, sure. But it's time to learn boundaries. I will admit, I will probably question letting the wife leave AND take the kids with her somewhere down the line (although I get plenty of time and a tight geo restriction). I probably did it wrong/weak. She was/is being reasonable and the risk/reward equation of fighting her didn't make sense - short or long-term.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
