Or do I grow balls tell her how I think it should be and risk losing the love of my life?
Whenever I see a man question if he needs to grow b@lls, I can't help but grin a little bit, b/c he has answered his own question. Everything that makes him a male is telling him to act the part of a man. I don't think you can act the part of a man as long as you fear making her mad at you.
It's not about trying to make her do what you know is right. It is about you making the right decisions for yourself and your kids. Having the attitude of "This is not what I want (a divorce) but I won't stand in your way of getting it". As soon as you let go of her, you will be able to show a man who has grown a pair. A man who is not dependent on his W to make him happy. A man who can have a life with or without her. A man who lays down personal boundaries, and if those boundaries are disrespected, then he makes decisions accordingly.
In other words, stop trying to get her back. It turns men into weak sisters when they do that stuff! If she wants back, she will find you and ask what it will take to work out things.(Or similar words to that effect). Stop being afraid you will "push" her further away. Often times, when the WAW thinks she is getting what she wants.......she will question herself. If she realizes she does love you and decides she does want you, then you acting like a man couldn't push her away. Seeing you act like a self respecting man is attractive to her.
The WAW coming back is a process for her. She has to reach the conclusion on her own. That requires the LBH none assistance in her life. Allow her to discover things on her own. It is much better for her to return out of free choice, rather than pressure.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
