Hi LT, I agree with AJ here. I'm in the same sitch right now with trying to keep my home. For me, my W agreed to allow me to retain the house in return for allowing her to keep antiques, not split her retirement accounts, etc. but as soon as she started to get "advice" from her father, changed that to allow me to just live there but as soon as my D14 turned 18, I would have to sell it and give her half...and she gets to still keep the antiques, retirement, etc. The sense of entitlement is unbelievable in MLC's sometimes. In the last year things have changed so much for my D14 and her sister, 19. I really felt that being able to have that home base, the familiar place, the only home they have ever known was important. My W told them both that our home wasn't a "happy" place and was a big reason she left. What she can't seem to grasp is that it was only "unhappy" for her, the rest of us have wonderful memories there, whether she can remember them or not.
I also am starting to think that my W may never be able to do the work on herself that she needs to. Like AJ said, even if she does, she may never be able to face up to the things she's said and done. My W has suffered with depression on and off for the last 8 years. While she didn't actually try and commit suicide there were many times she felt she "couldn't go on". For her to admit that what she has done was a mistake or admit that her own actions lead to the end of our M isn't something I can see her being able to do. Heck, we wouldn't be where we are right now if she had the ability to cope with doing something like that. It's the looking for "causes" for the her own actions that got us into this mess in the first place. Sadly, I really think it isn't something she will ever be able to do.
Hang in there LT and keep being the rock for the kids. They need you so much right now and would be lost without you!
