Intime, I feel for you, it is a double betrayal when it is a friend. My HW was also a mutual friend who knew exactly what was going on with my illness and surgeries.

I didn't tell anyone about HW and H's PA and since she is close to everyone in our circle, I often had to listen to anecdotes about her, often had to answer questions about why I wasn't inviting her over anymore. I had to make stuff up, I was lying to protect him (to make it easier for him to come home) and ended up protecting her, too.

On the other side of that, I often had to listen to well-meaning friends try to warn me that perhaps H left me for OW, because the two of them were acting so odd together... and then I had to distract them, change the subject, or outright lie... "No, they're just good friends! She's a good kid."

My H did some very cruel and stupid things. He hurt me terribly. And yet... you read enough threads on this forum and you realize there is a world of hurt we haven't even touched, much less experienced. For example, I don't know how I could've survived this with two small children. I can't imagine how you are getting through this.

You are going through a tough time! Be compassionate for yourself, for what you are feeling. Remind yourself that it is painful, but it won't last forever. Hang in there! And listen to the vets who give you advice. They are spot on!

M:54, H:55
T:33, M:27
12/13 BD: EA
01/14 BD: PA, H leaves
03/14 H & OW break up
05/14 H says he will file for D
08/14 H initiates D
09/14 H wants to R
12/14 Still bungling our way through R