I've been reading your posts for a while including the one you wrote on the infidelity blog.
No doubt you are in an emotional mess. Who wouldn't be? You have been on a very hard road. I admire how hard you are working to keep your marriage together.
I have been waiting to comment because I wanted you to give insight regarding the personal interaction between you and your wife. But you don't discuss your actual relationship. Are you aware of this?
What I mean is you haven't given any insight into how do/did you talk/interact? How did you conflict resolve? Or did you resolve conflict? What were your wife's primary issues with you? I know there was OM but this wasn't the only issue in your marriage.
You made reference to other issues. What were they? And when I ask "what were they" I want to know "what were the issues SHE complained about" not the issues concerning you.
For example, was she worried about money, security, drinking, etc. Studies show infidelity in women is different than infidelity in men. Most women are unfaithful because they seek to supplement something missing in their current relationship (love, security, excitement, etc.)
What was she saying that you weren't hearing? Keep in mind: I am not excusing her behavior. But if you don't know what was happening in your marriage then how can you fix it if she returns? You will be in the exact same place this time next year.
Something you said in your first blog struck me. You said you wish you could go back in time and do things different. What things?
Now on to specific issues Your wife said:
"We are not together anymore and will not be anymore. I will that the girls where I choose when I want. The same goes for you. I will not be asking or telling you about where I take them. They will always be safe with me. Just because you don't like someone doesn't mean they can't be around them."
"We will get a divorce ASAP just saying so please stop trying to win me over. I don't want your opinions on anything."
As an outside observer...this is really random. What prompted such harshness by her? Or is this normal conversation between the two of you? Do not say that she is just being mean or spiteful. She has had many opportunities to be mean and spiteful but she waited until now to take the shot.
Why?
Get completely honest and we will be able to roll up our sleeves and get to work on your marriage.
