Right now I consider the house the most important. My youngest has stated to others that she does not like living in apartments and will stay in the house at least till she graduates high school. I can see that she has some fears that she is having to process right now and that her room is her safe place. I won't allow them to take away the safety that this home represents to my kids right now.
That is exactly the right approach if you ask me. I was faced with the same choice and had the benefit of a counselor to listen/help. Her words to me were that children count on two things in their life for stability - their parents and their home. You can't do anything about your wife, but you can do something about the house.
I kept the house. Before I cleared my head, I had agreed to put it on the market. Luckily it didn't sell as that was right at the beginning of the downturn. After a while I got my head together and pulled it. I am incredibly glad I did for the sake of the kids. I don't particularly like the house other than that, but that wasn't the important part. Very important for the kids. I'm glad to see you have your priorities and are acting on them.
As for your w. I've read your sit over the past several months. You do realize that she may not do the work on herself right? Or that even if she does, she may never tell you? As these things go, she may not feel like she can if she does figure it out, instead choosing to be angry etc at the object of her anger and embarrassment.
To admit what she's said or done is not something she's very well equipped to handle.
I didn't see that very clearly in my own sit until much later. For a variety of reasons. But it's something that was very helpful in understanding my actions and why I chose them and why they either worked for me or didn't. And that was important as I faced criticisms (from people I trusted; the others can pound sand )
Hope that helps, LT. Keep watching out for the girls. The rest will work out over time.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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