I think you said it best, this is not the time to stress over these things. Wait till the PMS is over.
It may be my assumption, but I look at your stitch as you wanting o start over with a new self respect as well as him doing the things to show that he values you, as well. I am wondering if you missed that period of time in your R with him where his actions showed how much he valued you in his life. So when he says or does something that clearly shows that he takes you for granted......or has you way down the list of his priorities, it really stings a lot. So you struggle between wanting him to respect and pursue......and dealing with your attraction to him and wanting back your family life/home.
Instead of trying to manipulate him into doing things the way you want........you either have to accept it as is or refuse it. There is another direction you might take. Simply tell him (without going into a R talk) that you prefer he handles it differently. For example, why not just tell him, "I would prefer you drive me to your folks on Thanksgiving, and to take me home later". That cuts out you guessing about his reasons behind it, and cuts out you doing something out of reaction. If he ask what difference it makes, just tell him it would make you happy if he would show this consideration to you as his guest. Do NOT get off into R talk. Do not start talking about him valuing you etc. do NOT justify your reasons. Leave it there on topic. You want him to take you to his family as his invited guest. Period. A simple yes or no from him is all it takes. If he says he can't, you can still go......just don't play games. You are plainly telling him what you prefer. Try this formula in smaller scaled issues the next few weeks. See how it works for you.
Saying what you want = takes away the guessing games
The men I know do not like games women play. MM, we females are often too complex and men don't get it.......even though we can't understand why they don't. Sometimes we have to spell it out for them. May take some of the romance out of it for us, but we stand a better chance in getting it. And frankly, I think it works much better to deal with these small issues as they come, instead of letting things build and then having a huge R talk where we throw everything into the mix.
Experiment with this one thing and just see how it goes.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sometimes we have to spell it out for them. May take some of the romance out of it for us, but we stand a better chance in getting it. And frankly, I think it works much better to deal with these small issues as they come, instead of letting things build and then having a huge R talk where we throw everything into the mix. 
