Moving towards mediation, need to stop limbo

[shodan]

Yes I absolutely can. She is not looking to push the D. She only mentioned it the one time back in June. What she has said is "I don't know how I feel" which is actually an improvement from June/July when she said "I have no feelings for you."

Today, she texted me some pictures of our living room...she bought a new carpet and some new pillows and rearranged the furniture. I called her to let her know that it looked very nice and to thank her for doing it. We talked for about 30 min about all kinds of topics (not our R). She also mentioned that she wants to refinish our dining room table.

So our life would appear to be moving forward except she is not committed to our M (and has the OM on the side). Only once has she said she is committed to working on our M (when we talked back in August). Right now, her refusal to stop all contact with the OM is based on the fact that she is not sure she wants to work on the M.

That is where I am confused...if I just chill out, act like I don't are about the OM and her and just go about my life in a very fun and friendly way, that may bring her back into the fold. Or it may not. I think she views the D as me controlling her. I know that is a huge issue for her. My dad is SUPER controlling. Most of my convos this weekend with my W have been discussion about how controlling my dad is. She told me that she sees glimmers of it in me and that is why she wants no part of that future.