his family and friends, my family and friends-- have acknowledged and accepted that this is done.. everyone except me. Some days I feel like such a deluded fool. I mean, even if it ever came to that, could I really go back into his extended family-- the family that has essentially pretended I don't exist for the last year? Where the only ones to reach out a kind word were his mom and SIL? Like, not even a "I'm so sorry this happened, and I hope you are doing ok".
You've made it through a lot and then comes this awakening. It is actually a good thing cause now Claire can get on with Claire.
You're not a deluded fool, no one else you mentioned has as great an emotional stake in your life. Would you tell someone who suffered the death of a close relative that they were a deluded fool for grieving? Be kind to yourself.
About the family, I had the same thoughts as I had the similar reactions from H's family. H and I were just talking about this yesterday because his sister from OOT stayed with us last week while MIL was in the hospital. I had to work through some of my feelings while she was here and I was telling H about it, even shed a tear or 2. The key is, you won't be stepping back into the same R, it'll be a different R and one in which you can define the parameters. It actually takes a lot of pressure off, or at least it did for me.
You're doing fine Claire, we just have to accept that at times life is painful but in accepting and naming it what we're feeling we limit it's power over us.
Last edited by labug; 10/12/1403:22 PM.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
