"Cake-eating" is allowing a wayward spouse to enjoy the benefits of being married to you (financially, emotionally, physically) while also carrying on an affair with another person who is simultaneously meeting the needs.
Hence the phrase, "Having their cake and eating it too. "
I think Shodan is saying "That may be 'bonding' with my wife, but I cannot bind with her as long as she's with someone else, and lying to me about it." A BOUNDARY.
I do see anger in your posts, Shodan, but it seems like a healthy/normal amount from where I sit. Are you making DECISIONS based on anger? That's the important question that you have to consider.
