Depressed WAW, digging in, learning about myself

[Card29]

Every WAS is different, but I agree. I believe one of the main failures in most M's is unfulfilled emotional needs, even if the LBS intended to fulfill them. Either we speak the wrong LL, fulfill the wrong ENs (different people have different primary ENs), or we just don't do these things enough (several hours a week, every week). I was completely ignorant of EN's or LL's until after BD and lots of reading, searching and introspection.

My M fell apart due mainly to that and, I believe, a crisis within my WAW after we had a miscarriage in January of this year. I almost wish she left me because of a personality flaw of mine, or something else that I could change and demonstrate. I won't be able to fulfill her ENs completely until she allows me to do so (right now she doesn't want to see or talk to me most of the time). And only she can work through whatever trauma she is going through regarding the miscarriage. I could only support her IF she allowed me to (and right now she's not). So I am trying to:

- Remain positive but detached
- Work on things about me that I would want to change whether she came back or not
- Preserve my love for her as long as I can, as it's the last strand holding my M together
- Keep the road back home paved smooth