fth, Please don't be too hard on yourself. What you are going through is one of the hardest things you will ever go through. It isn't fair, it isn't right, it just is. I have been much closer to God since all this started as my W lost interest in church a few years ago and I just went along (funny how when you start to look back you see how you yourself allow other people to change you without even realizing it's happening!). One thing I have told myself is that God is on his own timeline. There is something I need to learn in all this and until I learn what that is, it will continue. I also remind myself that God does always answer our prayers, just not always the way we hope.
Do the work for you and your kids. Do it because it's what YOU need whatever the outcome with your H. Also, keep in mind that underneath it all, your H isn't really happy. Happy people don't do what he is doing. He is in pain and looking to make that pain stop and the more we try and "help" them stop the pain, the more they will resent us as we are who they have chosen to blame. The best thing you can do is just get out of the way and let him learn on his own how wrong what he is doing is. I doubt his new R with OW is going to last, they usually don't. The best thing you can do is get out of the picture and if he still doesn't become "happy" he can't really blame you if you aren't around.
